


I'd Rather Be A Forrest

by acommontater



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-02
Updated: 2015-07-02
Packaged: 2018-04-07 09:17:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4257864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acommontater/pseuds/acommontater
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She keeps singing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'd Rather Be A Forrest

**Author's Note:**

> Tw; homophobia, bashing (nothing graphic), mental illness.
> 
> 'What if Kurt and Blaine were the boys at the Sadie Hawkins dance?'
> 
> Title from Simon and Garfunkle's 'El Condor Pasa (If I could)'.

New York is huge and overwhelming and nothing like she’s imagined for so long. She tries not to cry as she sinks down to the floor of the practice studio.

She just needs a friend, someone who could underst

                                                                                     an

                                                                                               d….

She and Kurt are walking arm in arm down the busy sidewalk, chattering about his internship and he’s trying to convince her to let him give her a make-over.  
They find a cafe and Rachel tells him all about how her life in New York has gone so far. He smiles and listens and she feels inexplicably lonely.

Kurt loves her- she love him too- but she’s not quite sure how to be herself, out of love. She wants to be wanted a desperately as she fee

                                                                                                                                                                                                                      ls…

 

It’s her wedding day and Finn is smiling at her.

Of course it all goes to hell in a handbasket when Quinn gets in the car crash but

 

( _No, that’s not right- Quinn was a bridesmaid for her. They wore pink dresses and it went great with her skin tone and they’d joked about how she wouldn’t dye her hair to match the dress and…_ )

 

She is flying high after they win Nationals….

 

( _That’s not right either- they never qualified because…._ )

 

She’s walking down the hallway at the beginning of sophomore year and notices a boy at a locker down the hall from hers. He must be new, because she’d never seen him before and she would have noticed him.

The jocks ruin his nice jacket as they walk through the halls, slushie cups at the ready.

 

( _That’s not right either- he was never there to begin with. Right?_ )

 

She needs there to be a place for her….

                                                              …. glee club sign-ups appear the next day.

 

( _She’s a freshman, at the school’s Sadie Hawkins Dance with her two best friends. She’s the only one that knows that they’re dating- this school is far to homophobic for them to be open about anything, especially with the abuse they already get just from rumors._

_The gym is crowded and the air is heavy with the moisture and smells that accompany such things. Blaine shouts to be heard, telling her that it’s getting late [they’ve been there for about two hours] and he’s going to go outside to get some air and call Mr. Hummel to come get them and is that alright with her?_

_She just nods, not wanting to strain her vocal chords shouting._

_He shoots her a thumbs up and makes his way through the crowd. She sees Kurt catch up to him on the way out, and decides that she has time for one last cup of punch before going out to meet them._

_It takes nearly twenty minutes for her to get outside, and by then it’s too late._ )

 

She wishes that whoever it is would stop screaming- it makes it really difficult to concentrate on her Wicked sing-a-long.

 

( _She doesn’t remember dialing 911, doesn’t remember screaming, or telling the operator in hysterical tones what had happened._

_The smell and feel of the tacky blood drying on her pretty dress, and the horror in Blaine’s eyes as he clutches Kurt, ignoring his own bleeding head. The knowledge that one of her best friend’s is dead and if the ambulance doesn’t get here soon her other best friend will be too and she can’t she can’t she c_

_an_

_’t…._ )

She is singing on a large stage, the sole spotlight trained on her.

She is crying and can’t stop, but she’s never sounded better. The audience that she’s sure is there is rapt, holding their breath on her.

She doesn’t stop singing. Can’t stop singing.

If she stops then……

No.

She keeps singing.


End file.
